Adrenaline
Illustration by maulana ahmad on Unsplash
Teetering on the edge
My toes are in the abyss
My heels are bouncing on the earth
Pain in my core
And legs
Holds me there
I’m like the back chair legs
Of a bored student
I am forced to look into the jagged stones
Their spikes like finger nails digging into your back
I am held by elastic
The bounces make me sick
The electricity prickles in bursts across my limbs
Expectation stampedes my ears
My chest and back are tacked with needles
And force is pulling at the threads
My chest ruches
Crushed
The walls of my bedroom undulate
I await their collapse
Like I await the beasts at the door
Adrenaline dumps are sudden surges of stress hormones such as adrenaline and cortisol released by the nervous system. They can happen after physical exertion, emotional stress, sensory overload, illness, conflict, or even anticipation. For many people they feel less like “anxiety” and more like being electrically overclocked: shaking, chest tightness, nausea, internal vibrations, dizziness, insomnia, sweating, sensory hypersensitivity, panic, muscle pain, or the feeling that your body is bracing for danger even when you are safe.
They are commonly experienced in conditions involving nervous system dysregulation, including ME/CFS, Long Covid, POTS and dysautonomia, PTSD and complex trauma, anxiety disorders, autism, ADHD, fibromyalgia, hypermobile EDS, and chronic burnout/stress conditions.
